The artist and her work - Why I shifted my investigations from audience aesthetic experiences to the creative process of actors
It has been a very long time since I’ve written a blog post.
At the back of my mind, I’ve been contemplating what to write about. I never let the thought dwell too long at the front of my mind as I knew it would come to me eventually. Maybe this new post needs to be an insight into what it’s like to be a PhD student as I’m currently in my second year, or maybe it should be a post deconstructing the concepts my investigations are built upon.
I have finally come to a decision.
I’ll start with the accomplishment that I’ve published two joint first-author papers! The work presented in these papers was conducted whilst I was a MSc student at Goldsmiths University of London in collaboration with University College London. The project was called ‘Deconstructing the Dream.’ Here we used functional near-infrared spectroscopy (fNIRS) to measure the sense of self and interpersonal coordination of professional actors; and used wearable accelerometers to measure interpersonal synchrony between actors and a live audience. However, this blog post won’t be a summary of the methodology and findings of these projects.
My research today continues to investigate the effects of theatre training on the sense of self and theory of mind of professional actors, which is a continuation of the first half of the Deconstructing the Dream project. Therefore, the angle I will be taking in this blog post is a philosophical one, where I’m inviting you to think with me about what shifted my focus from aesthetic experiences in live theatre audiences to the creative process of actors. Audience aesthetic experiences are still an interesting topic to me but there was something deeper that was drawing me towards the creators and deliverers of the art rather than the viewers of the art.
A visual representation of the theme of this blog post.
In life we find ourselves evaluating the things we create. This doesn’t have to be artwork; it can also include work that doesn’t fall into the category of art. We constantly think about what the effects of a finished work may be on ourselves or the receivers and viewers of that work, but do we ever ask ourselves “What do I have to go through to create this work?” We become obsessed with the finished product and abandon our appreciation of the journey we are currently going through to create the work. I’ve previously heard an artist (I can’t remember who) say (paraphrased) “A lot of people are looking forward to more work, but I need to live to make the work. This is why people have to wait a long time until I release an album.” Hearing this made me realise that you have to experience life - go through the unpredictability of life to gain the inspiration or training you need to create your work.
Linking it back to actors, there is a training process they must go through to perform in the way that they do. This is why I’m more interested in the creative process than the audience experience of the creative output because journeys are very important. Journeys are also difficult, this is due to the building, shaping, and constructing of the self that is happening. It’s at this point that what we may categorise as a ‘mess’ may be made, but it’s that mess that will form into a beautiful work. Taking time to think about your journey may help you to be more appreciative of your final work.
So, really and truly this blog post is just a piece to guide you to a place of reflection over your own journeys, training, or anything you have experienced that has shaped the work that you have previously made or are currently making. The question of how people receive your work will always be there, so the question I want to leave you with is, what did you have to go through to create your work?
I realise that all the different angles that I could’ve taken with this blog post do reside within that question because that question covers how I feel about the progress I’ve made along my PhD, creative work, and every area of my life, whether it being emotional, spiritual, or physical. I always say to people that if I had the opportunity to be awarded my PhD right now, I will turn it down because I’ve learned to appreciate that it's worthwhile going through the journey and process of learning and stretching yourself. It’s surreal and grounding when you finally reach that expected endpoint and you know exactly what it took for you to get to the end of that work.
Therefore, I’ll end with an encouragement to anyone who may be in a rough patch in their journey, don’t give up, I know you’ll make something beautiful! No life experience is a waste!
